Book Review : #MeToo

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★★★☆☆

I requested this book off Netgalley because I’m interested in this movement and what it means for our world as we know it. I’ve wanted to combine this review with some others, I’ll write for ARCs I requested from Netgalley, but decided it against it. You know why? Because I’d rather include a discussion on misogynism, sexual abuse, harassment and feminism.

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I will start with the discussion, if you’re not interested, you can check my review down below!

I’ve been a feminist for some years now, a movement that I’m most grateful to, because before I was aware of its existence, I felt all those gender-based injustices and was so frustrated because I had nothing to turn to, no one to turn to. I found out about feminism from tumblr (you’re probably rolling your eyes right now, but as imperfect as tumblr feminism is, it’s something!) and I’ve felt like my issues weren’t mine anymore, I belonged to a group that shared my opinion that things had to change for the better.

I continued to learn and read about it from other sources too, I’ve related to many issues these women spoke about, I couldn’t relate to some of them, but I empathized to them nonetheless. Because it’s goddamn hard to be a woman. It’s goddamn hard to have all this pressure on your shoulders all the time, the pressure to always look good and slim because otherwise you’re not good enough, but not too good and not too hot because men can’t contain themselves around you. To try to be smart, but not too smart because men are intimidated by smart women. To try to get a job, but know that you will never measure to your male co-worker.

I’ve been tired for a while now to be catcalled, to have to think a hundred times about whether I can go to a certain event because it might be too late or whether there’s a lot of traffic around that area because some jackass might try something. I’m tired of having men touch me without my permission, like my body belongs to them and not to me, like I’m just an object that they can ogle to.

It’s awful because you can never feel safe when you’re around a man. Because reading these #MeToo stories, made me realize there are no guarantees a man will not try something. It doesn’t matter if you know them or not, if they are your relatives or friends, if they are young or old. It doesn’t matter what you wear, it doesn’t matter where you are going, it can happen to anybody and it can happen in any context. You are never protected from it. 

Isn’t it sad that we have to learn our daughters how to avoid rape from a young age? Isn’t it sad how we teach our sons to be strong and always in control of their feelings? We teach them to be those robots that never feel too much, that can’t take ‘no’ for an answer because that would hurt their manhood?

1 in 5 women are raped. I know I would like to do something to stop this from happening. Maybe we should start by talking about it more or maybe we should start by educating our children differently.

And as a conclusion, I want to say that not all men, but enough men. And that hurts women every day.

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Now, onto the book, I liked its purpose very much, it’s admirable, it’s raw and makes you feel things and understand the gravity of the issue. I was hoping for an all-women book, though, because while men have to be our allies in this problem, it would be nice to hear women speak of their issues, only women for a chance. I wanted to hear how #MeToo affected women, how it changed the way they saw life, whether the hashtag helped them or not. Men already have so many ocassions to speak, on any subject, this is about women or even men that had been victims of sexual abuse/harassment. But the men that contributed to this book, mostly spoke of how they had been ignorant of the magnitude of this issue or how they had been bullied at work and some of them did say supportive things, but you get my point.

There were some essays in this book that hurt me deeply, you have these strong women that had to go through so much at the hands of men. And it’s awful to read of it. There were some stories that didn’t surprise me because they happened to me too, to women I know, but I still stood there and wondered how did we reach this point where rape and harassment are the norm. And having control over your body being something that you were lucky enough to have.

This book mostly made me sad, it did raise some questions, most of these I had already thought about multiple times. There was a question that stood up, though, and that was whether #MeToo will make a lasting impression.

I’m very much interested in knowing this, too. Because for a while, it’s been an international matter, things changed, men lost their jobs, women came forward or felt safer speaking about what happened to them, but will it make a lasting impact?

Will it push us towards making this world we’re living in a safer place for women? Only time would tell, I suppose.

Thanks Netgalley and the publishers for providing me with this copy. I admire the hard work everyone put into this book in order to inform people about why #MeToo matters.

And I want to thank everyone that was brave enough to come forward with their stories, you are forever my heroes.

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23 thoughts on “Book Review : #MeToo

  1. Ioana @dragonwaffles says:

    I APPLAUD YOUR POWERFUL WORDS ❤!! It’s so so heartbreaking and I am tired and angry. I am 15 and I’ve been cat-called before and it’s scary. I AM UNDERAGE – this is fucked up. WE SHOULD FIGHT and BE FEMINISTS because the world still has problems but we can make a change. It’s 2017 this is not acceptable and they can’t silence us anymore!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • thecursedbooks says:

      I’m so sorry this happened to you, Ioana!! ❤ It’s so common for catcalling to happen to underage girls, it breaks my heart how it’s almost a norm at this point. I’m glad that I met someone from my own country that is a femimist and is aware of the issues. I feel like misogynism is rampant in Romania at this point and internalized misogynism too, which is even more hurtful. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      • Ioana @dragonwaffles says:

        Yes it’s disgustingly prominent everywhere on TV too and it’s never called out. I feel like if we were in any other country it would be unacceptable and people would be fired but here it’s just seen as funny. I am incredibly disappointed but I have a safe space on the internet and it’s nice ❤.

        Liked by 1 person

      • thecursedbooks says:

        Yesss and it bothers me so much whenever women shame feminists and call them crazy and names. Even if you don’t agree with the movement (though it’s our rights we’re all fighting for), you should be polite.
        I know, right? I stopped watching tv because of that, internet is amazing. But there are still bas stuff on here too! 😢

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Dreamy Reads says:

    Powerful words. I totally agree that nowadays the amount of sexual abuse is increasing because of which whenever there is a new case people find it normal because they have got used to it. It’s sad that people think that men who sexually abused a woman, did it because of her clothes. And it’s sad that men are being taught to control their emotions ad to not cry or else they will look weak. This might just be the main reason why women are being sexually assaulted. No woman, not even in her wildest dreams would ever want it. It’s high time that we stop attacking the victims and start supporting them.

    Liked by 1 person

    • thecursedbooks says:

      I totally agree with you, victim blaming is horrible and the fact that famous people were the abusers this time underlined even more how engrained victim-blaming is in our brains.
      The first thing, people claim when their favourite actors or friends are accused is that the women are lying and they should be insulted, dragged and that’s not okay. Because women rarely lie about these things. 😑

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Fanna says:

    I’m quite impressed with this book considering the review, but let’s get back to the discussion first 🙂

    “To try to be smart, but not too smart because men are intimidated by smart women.” This is the worst thing about the world at this point. I feel like this is the source to everything feminists need to stand against. Being a smart woman somehow (God knows why?!) resonates with an arrogant, over-confident and over the top modern woman who considers herself the best. Worst of it, men use this reason to rape women, saying it’s the strong opinions that turn them on and they don’t think the ‘no’ she said was genuine because it might just be her phase of considering herself as a smart woman. WHAT? Strong woman should definitely be a turn on, I agree, BUT NOT IN THIS WAY!

    “You are never protected from it.” From both personal recounting and factual numbers, I’ll have to sadly agree with this. It’s said, like really sad, that even now girls (no matter what age, shape, size or color) are not safe any-f**king-where. It’s quite comical that men (or the entire world for that matter) keep judging females on their color or shape but leave all that behind when it comes to molestation.

    Sorry for the rant but it’s nice to see others voicing out their opinions and best of it all: similar opinions ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    • thecursedbooks says:

      Yes! And media is also to blame for this issue because they promote this idea that women will play hard to get and play games with men, say no when they actually mean yes and that’s just ugh. Not healthy when men give other meanings to it.
      Totally agreed and there’s no reason to apologize for ranting, we should rant because it’s a real issue and it’s high time people hear us and what we’re saying. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  4. perpetualfangirl says:

    The MeToo hashtag absolutely broke my heart.

    It also made me willing to come out with my story that I have kept hidden and ignored since I was 14. The only person who I ever told was my husband… and the only reason why that happened is because I ran into my attacker at my workplace one day. You think you have it together, you think you can forget what happened, but as soon as you see that person all the emotions come back. The panic attack that followed prompted me to tell him. And he was the sweetest about it. No doubt in his mind whatsoever that I was telling the truth and that’s what I needed.

    I was ashamed, I was convinced that it was my fault and I was sure that no one would believe me because the man was a close friend of a friend of our family. I still haven’t had the nerve to actually come out and tell anyone what happened, but hearing all the stories (as terrible as they are) have made me realize that maybe one day I can. It helped me no longer feel ashamed either, it wasn’t only me who has gone through this and it wasn’t my fault.

    One statement I 100% agree with here is “Not all men, but enough men”. It’s so true. I am surrounded in my everyday life by sweet, caring men who would never think of harming a women in any way shape or form. But there are enough men out there that don’t care and that is a major problem.

    Sorry if this comment is a little over the top. I didn’t wanted to add too much of a sob story, but your post made me feel as if this was a safe place. And that’s all we can really ask for now, isn’t it?

    Liked by 1 person

    • thecursedbooks says:

      Sorry for taking so long to answer!! First of all, I want to start off by saying that this is totally a safe place and I’m glad you felt comfortable enough to share your experience.
      It’s totally okay not to feel ready to tell people, you don’t own anything to anyone (I’m saying this because there are so many people who claim it’s the victim to blame for not saying anything), trauma is a real thing and everybody deals differently with it. I’m glad that your husband had a good reaction and supported it because that should be the norm in those cases! ❤
      Also, your story isn’t a sob story, I think you’re really strong and I’m sending virtual hugs to you! 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Marta says:

    I first saw this movement on Twitter some days, maybe weeks ago, but haven’t heard much about it ever since. Either I’m looking in the wrong places, or it didn’t last, which really saddens me. I’d love to get to know more about it! I had no idea that there was a book about it – I might check it out. Thanks for this post ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • thecursedbooks says:

      Sadly, it died down! 😑 But it’s been quite a thing for at least a week after the allegations that came from Hollywood! Also, it helped lots of women to come forward with their stories. But there are still many issues in our society that can’t be resolved with only this hashtag.
      You could get the book from netgalley, the last time it was accessible without even having to request. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  6. catfairyreads says:

    I love your thoughts on this topic! I have been a feminist for quite a while without even really realizing it until a few years ago! I am so passionate about this topic and got really inspired by the feminist movement after watching this amazing documentary on Netflix that’s called Miss. Representation! So eye-opening! I should check out this book! Thanks for the review and totally reposting this on my facebook page! Btw have you read Moxie?!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Chauncey Rogers says:

    I have seen girls out in public. I have had female coworkers, supervisors, employees, and employers. I have dear friends who are girls. I have sisters. I have a daughter. I have a wife. Everyone has a mother. We all have women in our lives. We all owe our life to a woman. It is absolutely insane and abhorrent that half of the human population needs to spend so much time feeling unsafe, feeling judged, feeling undervalued or miss-valued. It is crazy that people who want to take positive steps to change that are ridiculed, targeted, and demonized. All women are people, and all people should be treated with dignity and respect.
    I don’t know if the #metoo movement will have lasting power, but I certainly hope it will. I think I believe it will, too. I feel like it did a lot to increase awareness and empower victims to speak out and, in some cases, seek justice. It may only be a stepping stone, but at least it’s a step in the right direction.

    Liked by 1 person

    • thecursedbooks says:

      Thank you very much for your comment, it’s refreshing to see a man step out and speak with respect about women’s issues. I really hope the movement will have a lasting power too, but I suppose there’s a lot more to do if we want it to change.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Chauncey Rogers says:

        Well, like I said, I just think everyone should be treated with dignity and respect. It’s hardly an opinion deserving of thanks, but I suppose that’s the world we live in. 😦
        If the movement doesn’t produce anything else, it seems to at least have empowered people to take down some of the big-name offenders. Hopefully that can become the next step stone. But I agree with you: there’s still a lot more to do.

        Like

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